What it all comes down to

Sat night was not a restful night. I had a hard time sleeping, Little One had a hard time sleeping. It was not good. 
So I didn't wake up feeling the greatest Sun morning. My husband had set an alarm so that he would be up and moving before J woke up so he could be sure everything/everyone was ready before he left to pick up a friend before Sunday School. His alarm went off and he rolled over to talk to me and I did not respond well. Basically I told him to get out of bed and get dressed if he wanted to be up (*and leave me alone to sleep I don't feel well what is wrong with you* is what I was thinking). About 25 minutes later I was awoken by the sound of my older child in his room ready to get up and out. And my husband didn't answer.
And didn't answer. 
So I dragged myself out of bed, very grouchy at this point (because, seriously, what was the point of him getting up early if he didn't get J??).
*sigh*
By the time I got my robe on and got to the door my husband was up the stairs and told me he would get J. At which point I grouched at him for making me get out of bed. 
*sigh again*
So back to bed I went and complained to God about how I didn't feel good and it was making me grouchy and I needed help. Badly. I asked for an attitude adjustment. Then I got up, got dressed, took care of Little One, went down and made coffee and helped my family get out the door. I wasn't anywhere near as grouchy as I was first thing that morning. I was still exhausted, but I didn't feel that miserable irritation in my soul, and I was no longer making those around me feel it either.
What's my point?
Well, I guess my point is that grouchiness is a choice. It can be really difficult to choose a different attitude, but by now I know what things will help me in that endeavor.
Coffee helps.
Food.
Taking a quiet moment.
Reading.
And prayer.
God helped me turn my attitude around when I was exhausted and feeling under the weather, but I had to make the decision to let Him. And my day was better because of it.
Oh, and sorry, Honey, that I was crabby at you Sunday morning.

Ramblings

I am constantly thinking of things I could write on this blog, but whenever I think about trying to actually do it kids or life tend to get in the way.  Now, when I have a minute to sit and write (with my baby curled up on my chest and my hubby at the other end of the couch doing his own writing) I find I can't think of much to say.

My toddler has been fighting a cold of some kind this week.  I've been exhausted from probably the same thing.  Baby seems to be healthy so far, but going through some kind of growth spurt that makes it hard to get him to sleep (which of course adds to the exhaustion).  We've been watching movies way more this week than we normally do in deference to the fact that neither Toddler nor Mommy feels well enough to play hard.  It's a good thing I like Tangled because we watched it 2 days in a row this week and I don't tend to like to do that with movies.  While my son has been extra cranky, he has also been extra cuddly which is always nice (except when he is desperate for me to hold him while I am nursing Baby Boy - that gets difficult).

I have been thinking lately about all the "parenting advice" articles out there and trying not to wonder if I am ruining my kids.  Is it bad for my son to be spanked occasionally?  Am I giving him a complex when I tell him something he is doing is wrong rather than only pointing out his good behavior?  Should I link his identity so much to being an older brother?  Am I turning him against his brother when I tell him he needs to wait till after I change the baby, after I feed the baby, etc?  Am I?  Should I?  Is this wrong?  Did I miss something?  Is my kid going to go bat-crazy and start sleeping upside down because I let him sleep in the dark?  (he's 2 and after a week of having a nightlight declared he wanted it "dark" when he slept - so much so that my husband hung a blanket off the side of his bunk bed so it would be darker in there.)  I don't think these questions and others like them are ever going to go away, and it leads me to wonder if I should stop reading parenting articles just to save my sanity.  But then I'm going to question if I'm really a good parent if I don't read advice.  It's a vicious cycle.

So here's my current favorite picture of the boys to make me feel happy:

Goodnight all.