Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Close to the end

I'm coming to the end of my second pregnancy.  At two days past my "due" date I am feeling full and ready.  I know that the baby will come when he is ready, but the waiting game is hard.  Hormones are playing havoc with my emotions, and not sleeping well does not help matters.

Family helps.  Being with my parents, my sisters, my in-laws, gives me some rest both emotionally and physically.  It's not that J is hard to deal with, it's just that he's another person that I have to give attention to.  And as much as it's difficult to say, it's nice to have a break from being the main attention source for my son.

Church helps.  Music, corporate worship, the reminder that God cares for us and is watching over us are all comforts to me.  Last Sunday the message was on Psalm 42, and even though I was interpreting at the time it was an encouragement to me.

Sunshine helps.  Gloom lets me wallow, and wallowing is depressing and when depressed I am unable to be the mother and wife I want to be.

J helps.  Today while we were waiting for my dad to show up he climbed up into as much of my lap as was available so he could play with me.  Then he asked for cuddles and when I hugged him he spontaneously said "I love you, Mommy."  These are the golden moments I wish I could cherish forever.

My husband helps.  He has been nothing but supportive through all my emotional and physical ups and downs.  He supports my desire to birth outside of a hospital and has been to 95% of my prenatal visits with me.  He rubs my back, he reminds me to eat, and he doesn't criticize when I just need a nap or can't do the laundry or the house isn't *clean*.

God helps.  All of these things and these people have been put in my life by Him, and I cannot thank Him enough for being ever by my side.  I hate to think what I would become without His Light and Love to guide me.