Saturday, December 15, 2012

Am I doing it wrong?

Am I doing it wrong?  This whole "mother" thing - am I scarring my kid somehow and not even realizing it?

I read some baby books when I was pregnant and in the early days and when my son wouldn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and I was at my wits' end trying to figure out how to help him.  

Then I stopped.

I find advice online sometimes, in fact that is how we finally got J to sleep through the night.  But I don't read it regularly.

Am I doing it wrong?

The books and articles say we should have at least a 30 minute bedtime routine for our toddler and an hour of wind down time is even better.  Our bedtime routine with pjs, diaper, brushing teeth, reading books and singing generally takes about 15 minutes.  Bath days are longer of course, but J usually only gets a bath once or twice a week - I don't think he needs it more often than that.

Am I doing it wrong?

I know everyone is different.  I know every parent is different and every child (even children of the same parents) is different.  I know we all have to make decisions for our own children.  But still I wonder:

Am I doing it wrong?

My child uses a binky (but only at bedtime), eats cookies (on occasion), watches Sesame Street (but only 30 or so minutes a day) and wears hats like no one else.  He signs and talks and screams when another kid plays with the toy he-was-going-to-play-with-he-just-didn't-know-it-yet.  He is a messy eater who generally eats about what I do which are not always the healthiest things I could give him.  He has long hair in the back because I haven't gotten the courage/strength up enough to finish the haircut I started, and his bangs in the front are a little too short because I was apparently enthusiastic about the haircut when I started.  He is adorable and funny and smart and dramatic and stubborn and he is growing up and I can't stop him!

Am I doing it wrong?  Will that question ever go away?

I love my son dearly and while I know that I (along with my husband) will ultimately make the decisions about J according to what we believe is right, I will always have moments (or days, or weeks, or...) of self-doubt.  And sometimes I just need to hear:
You are doing it right.


1 comment:

  1. You are the absolute best mother J could have. God chose YOU to be his mom, because He knew you would be the best at it. Hugs and love to you and that brilliant, amazing boy you are raising.