Sat night was not a restful night. I had a hard time sleeping, Little One had a hard time sleeping. It was not good.
So I didn't wake up feeling the greatest Sun morning. My husband had set an alarm so that he would be up and moving before J woke up so he could be sure everything/everyone was ready before he left to pick up a friend before Sunday School. His alarm went off and he rolled over to talk to me and I did not respond well. Basically I told him to get out of bed and get dressed if he wanted to be up (*and leave me alone to sleep I don't feel well what is wrong with you* is what I was thinking). About 25 minutes later I was awoken by the sound of my older child in his room ready to get up and out. And my husband didn't answer.
And didn't answer.
So I dragged myself out of bed, very grouchy at this point (because, seriously, what was the point of him getting up early if he didn't get J??).
*sigh*
By the time I got my robe on and got to the door my husband was up the stairs and told me he would get J. At which point I grouched at him for making me get out of bed.
*sigh again*
So back to bed I went and complained to God about how I didn't feel good and it was making me grouchy and I needed help. Badly. I asked for an attitude adjustment. Then I got up, got dressed, took care of Little One, went down and made coffee and helped my family get out the door. I wasn't anywhere near as grouchy as I was first thing that morning. I was still exhausted, but I didn't feel that miserable irritation in my soul, and I was no longer making those around me feel it either.
What's my point?
Well, I guess my point is that grouchiness is a choice. It can be really difficult to choose a different attitude, but by now I know what things will help me in that endeavor.
Coffee helps.
Food.
Taking a quiet moment.
Reading.
And prayer.
God helped me turn my attitude around when I was exhausted and feeling under the weather, but I had to make the decision to let Him. And my day was better because of it.
Oh, and sorry, Honey, that I was crabby at you Sunday morning.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Ramblings
I am constantly thinking of things I could write on this blog, but whenever I think about trying to actually do it kids or life tend to get in the way. Now, when I have a minute to sit and write (with my baby curled up on my chest and my hubby at the other end of the couch doing his own writing) I find I can't think of much to say.
My toddler has been fighting a cold of some kind this week. I've been exhausted from probably the same thing. Baby seems to be healthy so far, but going through some kind of growth spurt that makes it hard to get him to sleep (which of course adds to the exhaustion). We've been watching movies way more this week than we normally do in deference to the fact that neither Toddler nor Mommy feels well enough to play hard. It's a good thing I like Tangled because we watched it 2 days in a row this week and I don't tend to like to do that with movies. While my son has been extra cranky, he has also been extra cuddly which is always nice (except when he is desperate for me to hold him while I am nursing Baby Boy - that gets difficult).
I have been thinking lately about all the "parenting advice" articles out there and trying not to wonder if I am ruining my kids. Is it bad for my son to be spanked occasionally? Am I giving him a complex when I tell him something he is doing is wrong rather than only pointing out his good behavior? Should I link his identity so much to being an older brother? Am I turning him against his brother when I tell him he needs to wait till after I change the baby, after I feed the baby, etc? Am I? Should I? Is this wrong? Did I miss something? Is my kid going to go bat-crazy and start sleeping upside down because I let him sleep in the dark? (he's 2 and after a week of having a nightlight declared he wanted it "dark" when he slept - so much so that my husband hung a blanket off the side of his bunk bed so it would be darker in there.) I don't think these questions and others like them are ever going to go away, and it leads me to wonder if I should stop reading parenting articles just to save my sanity. But then I'm going to question if I'm really a good parent if I don't read advice. It's a vicious cycle.
So here's my current favorite picture of the boys to make me feel happy:
Goodnight all.
My toddler has been fighting a cold of some kind this week. I've been exhausted from probably the same thing. Baby seems to be healthy so far, but going through some kind of growth spurt that makes it hard to get him to sleep (which of course adds to the exhaustion). We've been watching movies way more this week than we normally do in deference to the fact that neither Toddler nor Mommy feels well enough to play hard. It's a good thing I like Tangled because we watched it 2 days in a row this week and I don't tend to like to do that with movies. While my son has been extra cranky, he has also been extra cuddly which is always nice (except when he is desperate for me to hold him while I am nursing Baby Boy - that gets difficult).
I have been thinking lately about all the "parenting advice" articles out there and trying not to wonder if I am ruining my kids. Is it bad for my son to be spanked occasionally? Am I giving him a complex when I tell him something he is doing is wrong rather than only pointing out his good behavior? Should I link his identity so much to being an older brother? Am I turning him against his brother when I tell him he needs to wait till after I change the baby, after I feed the baby, etc? Am I? Should I? Is this wrong? Did I miss something? Is my kid going to go bat-crazy and start sleeping upside down because I let him sleep in the dark? (he's 2 and after a week of having a nightlight declared he wanted it "dark" when he slept - so much so that my husband hung a blanket off the side of his bunk bed so it would be darker in there.) I don't think these questions and others like them are ever going to go away, and it leads me to wonder if I should stop reading parenting articles just to save my sanity. But then I'm going to question if I'm really a good parent if I don't read advice. It's a vicious cycle.
So here's my current favorite picture of the boys to make me feel happy:
Goodnight all.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Birthdays all around
Remember what I said about being "full and ready" at 2 days past my due date? Ok, fast forward a week and I finally go into labor.
Then stop.
Then go.
Then stop.
Then go.
Because that was what my labor was like. For two days. But, as my midwife kept reminding me through this pregnancy, all kids come out sometime and he won't stay in forever. And he didn't!
This little bundle of awesomeness was born at 1:14am on Oct 31 (Yes, Halloween. Also Reformation Day)
Although things took what seemed to be a very long time, I am so happy we were able to birth at home this time around. I felt so much more relaxed being in my own room with just my husband, mom and midwife there. Afterward I was able to curl up in my own bed with my baby and his daddy and zonk out. It was exactly what I needed after the stress of my first son's birth.
Baby C is happy and healthy. We are learning so much about each other every day. The hubby has been able to stay home from work all this week and look after Toddler J which has been amazing and really given me a chance to rest and heal.
Monday will be our first day home just Mommy and the kids. No, I'm not nervous about that at all, why do you ask? (While my inner voice is screaming "Help me!")
And in other news, today is my 30th birthday. Which is a very strange thing to say. I had a list of goals somewhere to complete by now. Some of them are done (like buying a house! that one I had not expected to come true yet), while others remain a dream. One of the reasons they remain a dream is because I've put some stuff on hold to have and take care of my children. And much as I am feeling my age today, and all the things I haven't done yet, I have to look at these boys in amazement and awe and wonder how it is I have been blessed with (and tasked with) raising such smart, fun, beautiful children.
Today I'm going to try to own my birthday, and be satisfied with what I have accomplished. When I think of things I haven't done, I will try to put them in the future - haven't done yet.
Then stop.
Then go.
Then stop.
Then go.
Because that was what my labor was like. For two days. But, as my midwife kept reminding me through this pregnancy, all kids come out sometime and he won't stay in forever. And he didn't!
This little bundle of awesomeness was born at 1:14am on Oct 31 (Yes, Halloween. Also Reformation Day)
Although things took what seemed to be a very long time, I am so happy we were able to birth at home this time around. I felt so much more relaxed being in my own room with just my husband, mom and midwife there. Afterward I was able to curl up in my own bed with my baby and his daddy and zonk out. It was exactly what I needed after the stress of my first son's birth.
Baby C is happy and healthy. We are learning so much about each other every day. The hubby has been able to stay home from work all this week and look after Toddler J which has been amazing and really given me a chance to rest and heal.
Monday will be our first day home just Mommy and the kids. No, I'm not nervous about that at all, why do you ask? (While my inner voice is screaming "Help me!")
And in other news, today is my 30th birthday. Which is a very strange thing to say. I had a list of goals somewhere to complete by now. Some of them are done (like buying a house! that one I had not expected to come true yet), while others remain a dream. One of the reasons they remain a dream is because I've put some stuff on hold to have and take care of my children. And much as I am feeling my age today, and all the things I haven't done yet, I have to look at these boys in amazement and awe and wonder how it is I have been blessed with (and tasked with) raising such smart, fun, beautiful children.
Today I'm going to try to own my birthday, and be satisfied with what I have accomplished. When I think of things I haven't done, I will try to put them in the future - haven't done yet.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Close to the end
I'm coming to the end of my second pregnancy. At two days past my "due" date I am feeling full and ready. I know that the baby will come when he is ready, but the waiting game is hard. Hormones are playing havoc with my emotions, and not sleeping well does not help matters.
Family helps. Being with my parents, my sisters, my in-laws, gives me some rest both emotionally and physically. It's not that J is hard to deal with, it's just that he's another person that I have to give attention to. And as much as it's difficult to say, it's nice to have a break from being the main attention source for my son.
Church helps. Music, corporate worship, the reminder that God cares for us and is watching over us are all comforts to me. Last Sunday the message was on Psalm 42, and even though I was interpreting at the time it was an encouragement to me.
Sunshine helps. Gloom lets me wallow, and wallowing is depressing and when depressed I am unable to be the mother and wife I want to be.
J helps. Today while we were waiting for my dad to show up he climbed up into as much of my lap as was available so he could play with me. Then he asked for cuddles and when I hugged him he spontaneously said "I love you, Mommy." These are the golden moments I wish I could cherish forever.
My husband helps. He has been nothing but supportive through all my emotional and physical ups and downs. He supports my desire to birth outside of a hospital and has been to 95% of my prenatal visits with me. He rubs my back, he reminds me to eat, and he doesn't criticize when I just need a nap or can't do the laundry or the house isn't *clean*.
God helps. All of these things and these people have been put in my life by Him, and I cannot thank Him enough for being ever by my side. I hate to think what I would become without His Light and Love to guide me.
Family helps. Being with my parents, my sisters, my in-laws, gives me some rest both emotionally and physically. It's not that J is hard to deal with, it's just that he's another person that I have to give attention to. And as much as it's difficult to say, it's nice to have a break from being the main attention source for my son.
Church helps. Music, corporate worship, the reminder that God cares for us and is watching over us are all comforts to me. Last Sunday the message was on Psalm 42, and even though I was interpreting at the time it was an encouragement to me.
Sunshine helps. Gloom lets me wallow, and wallowing is depressing and when depressed I am unable to be the mother and wife I want to be.
J helps. Today while we were waiting for my dad to show up he climbed up into as much of my lap as was available so he could play with me. Then he asked for cuddles and when I hugged him he spontaneously said "I love you, Mommy." These are the golden moments I wish I could cherish forever.
My husband helps. He has been nothing but supportive through all my emotional and physical ups and downs. He supports my desire to birth outside of a hospital and has been to 95% of my prenatal visits with me. He rubs my back, he reminds me to eat, and he doesn't criticize when I just need a nap or can't do the laundry or the house isn't *clean*.
God helps. All of these things and these people have been put in my life by Him, and I cannot thank Him enough for being ever by my side. I hate to think what I would become without His Light and Love to guide me.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
Sick
My son has been sick since Friday and, of course, shared with me. We haven't been sleeping much. I am worn out. And tired. And wish I didn't have a head full of snot. So here's to looking at the good things that I have experienced since Friday morning after a night of about 3 hours of sleep and 4 hours of dozing/waking up constantly to comfort my baby.
1. Friday morning my mom came over to watch J briefly while my dad took me to get some baby medication. He bought me coffee. It made me feel human.
2. Sat evening Stacey bought us Chinese food and COKE. I got Coke!
3. The we got to pick up my sister from the airport as she has been in Florida for a week filming a tv show (read about her adventures here: http://silencestressed.wordpress.com/).
4. Sunday morning we woke up having had more sleep than the last 2 nights put together and cuddled in bed as a family till the ridiculously late hour of 8:30 (if you have toddlers you might understand that I'm not being sarcastic when I say this was very late for us).
5. Day old cinnamon crunch bagels for breakfast (thank you, Nikki!).
6. Sesame Street on Netflix.
7. The opportunity to go to Walmart Sunday evening which gave me a short break from my beloved son, netted me another Coke and ran us into my other sister who was there for vehicle checkup. Which meant we stood and talked for 30 minutes while playing with squishy balls in the kids section.
8. Robin eggs (the candy, not the baby bird kind) from my mom.
9. My husband is being very supportive and understanding and helpful and generally awesome.
10. II Corinthians. I'm not keeping up my reading schedule as well as I would like, but it is so worth it when I do read what I am supposed to.
This too shall pass. Now I need to go find the Kleenex...
1. Friday morning my mom came over to watch J briefly while my dad took me to get some baby medication. He bought me coffee. It made me feel human.
2. Sat evening Stacey bought us Chinese food and COKE. I got Coke!
3. The we got to pick up my sister from the airport as she has been in Florida for a week filming a tv show (read about her adventures here: http://silencestressed.wordpress.com/).
4. Sunday morning we woke up having had more sleep than the last 2 nights put together and cuddled in bed as a family till the ridiculously late hour of 8:30 (if you have toddlers you might understand that I'm not being sarcastic when I say this was very late for us).
5. Day old cinnamon crunch bagels for breakfast (thank you, Nikki!).
6. Sesame Street on Netflix.
7. The opportunity to go to Walmart Sunday evening which gave me a short break from my beloved son, netted me another Coke and ran us into my other sister who was there for vehicle checkup. Which meant we stood and talked for 30 minutes while playing with squishy balls in the kids section.
8. Robin eggs (the candy, not the baby bird kind) from my mom.
9. My husband is being very supportive and understanding and helpful and generally awesome.
10. II Corinthians. I'm not keeping up my reading schedule as well as I would like, but it is so worth it when I do read what I am supposed to.
This too shall pass. Now I need to go find the Kleenex...
Thursday, January 17, 2013
A simple truth
I've been thinking.
(Which leads me to say, "A dangerous prospect." I know.)
Last night I was in something of a depression. I had again the realization that I am not the best at anything, I am not the top in any of my fields. In the past the way I have dealt with this is to remind myself that no one has my particular mix of talents, but this wasn't helping last night because I went on to thinking that there are a lot of people out there who are better than me at a lot of things and if I can't be great at something what does it matter if I am mediocre at a lot of things??
Like I said, I was in something of a depression.
But I stumbled across a truth that I have neglected to remember for quite some time: it doesn't matter. Recognition of people, no matter how good it feels, is not important.
What is important is how God sees me. His opinion is the only one that matters. And if I can remember that it makes my life so much more simple.
Sure, I want that recognition from people, I want people to tell me I'm doing a good job at (insert word here). But I am reminded that it isn't important.
I'm not the best at (insert word here) - but so what? Does God care? No. God wants me to Love. He wants me to love Him and to love other people.
And here's the kicker: the Creator of the universe Loves ME.
And that's what needs to color my world.
(Which leads me to say, "A dangerous prospect." I know.)
Last night I was in something of a depression. I had again the realization that I am not the best at anything, I am not the top in any of my fields. In the past the way I have dealt with this is to remind myself that no one has my particular mix of talents, but this wasn't helping last night because I went on to thinking that there are a lot of people out there who are better than me at a lot of things and if I can't be great at something what does it matter if I am mediocre at a lot of things??
Like I said, I was in something of a depression.
But I stumbled across a truth that I have neglected to remember for quite some time: it doesn't matter. Recognition of people, no matter how good it feels, is not important.
What is important is how God sees me. His opinion is the only one that matters. And if I can remember that it makes my life so much more simple.
Sure, I want that recognition from people, I want people to tell me I'm doing a good job at (insert word here). But I am reminded that it isn't important.
I'm not the best at (insert word here) - but so what? Does God care? No. God wants me to Love. He wants me to love Him and to love other people.
And here's the kicker: the Creator of the universe Loves ME.
And that's what needs to color my world.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Blogs, bears and diapers
The other day some friends and I were talking about blogs. Some blog owners seem to be perfect: every post is about some wonderful activity they did with their child, the perfect dinner they cooked for their family, or the beautiful sunset that made their day. Other bloggers talk about the good stuff and the bad stuff, which can be more encouraging to those of us who have a mix of good stuff and bad stuff going on in our lives (read: everybody). Sometimes it is nice to read ideas and recipes and wonderfulness. Other times it can be nice to know that we aren't alone in our "What do I do with this child now?" or "He's running naked through the house because he doesn't want a clean diaper," and "Oh look, he's playing in the toilet again," times.
Yesterday I had a mix of good and bad. I could not figure out how to wear my boy out for his nap - everything I could think of was messy and I had just gotten him in clean clothes and I just wanted to sit him down and let him watch Sesame Street. Then he had a poopy diaper and I had a good moment (yeah, those two things would not normally go together). See, lately J has been back and forth on diaper changes - sometimes he'll lie there just fine and sometimes (more often lately) he freaks out and squirms and generally attempts escape (remember the earlier comment about running naked through the house? Yeah, that). Well, he especially dislikes getting a poopy diaper changed. So yesterday, right before changing him, we "changed" his bear's diaper (read: we wiped his bear down and put a diaper on him). IT WORKED SO WELL. I cannot express how exciting it was to then change J's diaper while he lay there calmly and wiped Pooh Bear down again. So I tried it this morning when he was throwing his usually morning diaper fit and IT WORKED AGAIN.
I might not be the mom who can always find a cool, learning activity for my child, but darn it, I can change my child's diaper!
And sometimes, that's all the success I need for one day.
Yesterday I had a mix of good and bad. I could not figure out how to wear my boy out for his nap - everything I could think of was messy and I had just gotten him in clean clothes and I just wanted to sit him down and let him watch Sesame Street. Then he had a poopy diaper and I had a good moment (yeah, those two things would not normally go together). See, lately J has been back and forth on diaper changes - sometimes he'll lie there just fine and sometimes (more often lately) he freaks out and squirms and generally attempts escape (remember the earlier comment about running naked through the house? Yeah, that). Well, he especially dislikes getting a poopy diaper changed. So yesterday, right before changing him, we "changed" his bear's diaper (read: we wiped his bear down and put a diaper on him). IT WORKED SO WELL. I cannot express how exciting it was to then change J's diaper while he lay there calmly and wiped Pooh Bear down again. So I tried it this morning when he was throwing his usually morning diaper fit and IT WORKED AGAIN.
I might not be the mom who can always find a cool, learning activity for my child, but darn it, I can change my child's diaper!
And sometimes, that's all the success I need for one day.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Home again, home again
Yes, we wore coordinating red and black the Sunday before Christmas :)
Mommy and J dancing Christmas Eve morning (which is when we celebrated just the 3 of us).
My Little Geek is an ABC book - for both of my boys to enjoy!
Little thief likes to steal Mommy's water.
We celebrated Christmas multiple times with multiple family members. Saw The Hubby's dad and his wife Sat, spent Christmas Eve with my wonderful mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Christmas Eve we went to the service at church which was very low key and wonderful. The Hubby and I sang, my sister read a Christmas story she had written a while back and my brother gave a sermonette (are you sensing a pattern here?). We sang lots and lots of carols and it was peaceful and happy and I loved it. Then Christmas Day we headed over to my folks' and spent the day there (and got to see MIL and SIL again when they gave for dinner!).
Then last weekend we headed up to see The Hubby's grandparents, and back here in time for New Year's Eve. Family is fantastic. Holidays are heavenly. I cherish the celebration of Christ's birth. And now I'm very happy to be home and settled back in.
Oh yeah, and we'll be moving at the end of the month. Guess there's not a whole lot of relaxing that's going to happen after all!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Christmas Time
I love Christmas Time.
I love my Christmas tree.
I love wrapping presents (ooh, I need to wrap presents!).
I love family time.
I love Christmas carols.
I love celebrating my Savior's birth.
As last year he was too little to do much, I am excited to really introduce things properly to my son this year!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Am I doing it wrong?
Am I doing it wrong? This whole "mother" thing - am I scarring my kid somehow and not even realizing it?
I read some baby books when I was pregnant and in the early days and when my son wouldn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and I was at my wits' end trying to figure out how to help him.
Then I stopped.
I find advice online sometimes, in fact that is how we finally got J to sleep through the night. But I don't read it regularly.
Am I doing it wrong?
The books and articles say we should have at least a 30 minute bedtime routine for our toddler and an hour of wind down time is even better. Our bedtime routine with pjs, diaper, brushing teeth, reading books and singing generally takes about 15 minutes. Bath days are longer of course, but J usually only gets a bath once or twice a week - I don't think he needs it more often than that.
Am I doing it wrong?
I know everyone is different. I know every parent is different and every child (even children of the same parents) is different. I know we all have to make decisions for our own children. But still I wonder:
Am I doing it wrong?
My child uses a binky (but only at bedtime), eats cookies (on occasion), watches Sesame Street (but only 30 or so minutes a day) and wears hats like no one else. He signs and talks and screams when another kid plays with the toy he-was-going-to-play-with-he-just-didn't-know-it-yet. He is a messy eater who generally eats about what I do which are not always the healthiest things I could give him. He has long hair in the back because I haven't gotten the courage/strength up enough to finish the haircut I started, and his bangs in the front are a little too short because I was apparently enthusiastic about the haircut when I started. He is adorable and funny and smart and dramatic and stubborn and he is growing up and I can't stop him!
Am I doing it wrong? Will that question ever go away?
I love my son dearly and while I know that I (along with my husband) will ultimately make the decisions about J according to what we believe is right, I will always have moments (or days, or weeks, or...) of self-doubt. And sometimes I just need to hear:
You are doing it right.
Please?
I read some baby books when I was pregnant and in the early days and when my son wouldn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and I was at my wits' end trying to figure out how to help him.
Then I stopped.
I find advice online sometimes, in fact that is how we finally got J to sleep through the night. But I don't read it regularly.
Am I doing it wrong?
The books and articles say we should have at least a 30 minute bedtime routine for our toddler and an hour of wind down time is even better. Our bedtime routine with pjs, diaper, brushing teeth, reading books and singing generally takes about 15 minutes. Bath days are longer of course, but J usually only gets a bath once or twice a week - I don't think he needs it more often than that.
Am I doing it wrong?
I know everyone is different. I know every parent is different and every child (even children of the same parents) is different. I know we all have to make decisions for our own children. But still I wonder:
Am I doing it wrong?
My child uses a binky (but only at bedtime), eats cookies (on occasion), watches Sesame Street (but only 30 or so minutes a day) and wears hats like no one else. He signs and talks and screams when another kid plays with the toy he-was-going-to-play-with-he-just-didn't-know-it-yet. He is a messy eater who generally eats about what I do which are not always the healthiest things I could give him. He has long hair in the back because I haven't gotten the courage/strength up enough to finish the haircut I started, and his bangs in the front are a little too short because I was apparently enthusiastic about the haircut when I started. He is adorable and funny and smart and dramatic and stubborn and he is growing up and I can't stop him!
Am I doing it wrong? Will that question ever go away?
I love my son dearly and while I know that I (along with my husband) will ultimately make the decisions about J according to what we believe is right, I will always have moments (or days, or weeks, or...) of self-doubt. And sometimes I just need to hear:
You are doing it right.
Please?
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Blessed
So it has been an incredibly busy week. We spent Thanksgiving Day with my family which included breakfast, dinner and playing at the park.
Thursday evening we drove up the NE to spend the weekend with the Hubby's family.
While we were in NE, 3 1/2 hours from home, I got a call Saturday night that said my dad was in the hospital. Fighting down my immediate urge to drive back that very evening (he was not, after all, in critical condition), we stayed until Sunday afternoon before heading home. The Boy did not nap in the car as I had expected him to which caused the trip to seem longer than it actually was. And when we finally did get home I had to wait until my sister had finished nursing her newborn before we carpooled up to the hospital.
Walking into his room the first thing I noticed was that my mom was sitting in bed with him. It seemed the most natural thing in the world that instead of using the chair she wanted to be close to him, to give (and receive) that physical support. I almost cried.
It is now Tuesday and my dad is heading home. Want to know who's driving him? That's right, my mom, who has been by his side ever since this morning and as much as was physically possible the last few days.
Sometimes my parents drive each other crazy (as is natural for people who have been together for more than 30 years). But seeing how they care for each other is an encouragement that I take with me into my own marriage. Love and commitment to the good of the other person is the basis for relationships that stand the tests of time, kids and hospital stretches.
Thursday evening we drove up the NE to spend the weekend with the Hubby's family.
While we were in NE, 3 1/2 hours from home, I got a call Saturday night that said my dad was in the hospital. Fighting down my immediate urge to drive back that very evening (he was not, after all, in critical condition), we stayed until Sunday afternoon before heading home. The Boy did not nap in the car as I had expected him to which caused the trip to seem longer than it actually was. And when we finally did get home I had to wait until my sister had finished nursing her newborn before we carpooled up to the hospital.
Walking into his room the first thing I noticed was that my mom was sitting in bed with him. It seemed the most natural thing in the world that instead of using the chair she wanted to be close to him, to give (and receive) that physical support. I almost cried.
It is now Tuesday and my dad is heading home. Want to know who's driving him? That's right, my mom, who has been by his side ever since this morning and as much as was physically possible the last few days.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Birthday thoughts
Last year for my birthday I posted a list inspired by a friend of mine called "30 by 30". Today being my 29th birthday I figured I ought to update and see how things are going.
1. Read 20 new books (not including children’s books which I can easily go through 5 at a time)
- This started out really well and then my child went mobile. I've done several but probably not 10 - which means I have some catching up to do!
2. Read 10 classics (I’ve realized how many of these I own compared to how many I’ve read and it’s rather embarrassing)
- Um. Yes. I am behind.
3. Finish organizing old photographs into albums or scrapbooks
- I'm very close! Well, much closer than I was which is happy.
4. Get rid of all those shirts that I keep saying I might wear someday but never do
- Did a little bit but the full culling has yet to happen.
5. Learn to follow a sewing pattern
- Not a pattern yet, but I am learning more about my sewing machine and trying new projects.
6. Learn to walk on 5’ peg stilts
- These have not yet been completed so I have not had the opportunity yet.
7. Try 50 new recipes (this so far is going better than I thought it would, but I don’t know how that’s going to change when I have a toddler)
- Still going well, although some weeks are better than others. I am sure I have hit nearly 50 already so now it will be how many total I can do!
8. Design and create my own costume
- Done!
9. Learn to crochet
- I completely forgot this was here.
10. Direct Godspell
- I thought I had my chance this spring but things did not work out. We shall see what the future holds.
11. Perform in another stage show
- Technically this did happen - I played drum for a dance show out at festival. Not exactly what I meant when I made the goal.
12. Take a dance class
- Not even close yet.
13. Learn 3 swing dance aerials to do with my husband
- This sounds like fun, I should do this.
14. Simplify my life by getting rid of STUFF– I’m not sure yet what measureable to put on this to know whether or not I have succeeded
- It has begun.
15. Take walks at least 3 times a week – not sure how I’m going to do this in the winter time, maybe become a mall walker mom during the cold months?
- Walking more than nothing but less than I would like.
16. Set up a will/custody documents for J should anything happen to me and the hubby
- This would be a nice thing to have.
17. Spend time at least once a week with a friend
- Yup.
18. Maintain an active prayer journal
- Completely forgot this was here. I should do this.
19. Lead a Bible study
- Not yet.
20. Read through the Bible completely (haven’t done this since Bible college and it needs to happen again)
- Did part of this with my husband, need to keep working on it on my own.
21. Buy a house (yeah, I’m not totally optimistic about this one, but I can try)
- Working on it.
22. Memorize 30 Bible verses
- If I keep up with the Bible Study memory plan at church this will be done.
23. Memorize 3 sonnets
- Nope.
24. Get to know the ladies at my church better (ie: be more sociable)
- Working on it.
25. Clean out the garage enough to consider getting a deep freeze
- My husband is amazing with the work he has put into our garage but the lead we had on a deep freeze has dried up. We will keep looking.
26. Consistently maintain an active blog
- Not as consistent as I would like.
27. Stick with cloth diapering
- Not a problem. We use disposables occasionally but for the most part the cloth diapers are working out wonderfully.
28. Teach a sign language class
- Oh, this sounds like fun! Have I done it yet? Not in a loooong time...
29. Travel to a state I’ve never been
- Well I went to CA...technically I have been there before but I was just a toddler and I didn't remember it - does that count?
30. Feel organized – if only briefly
- Not really, but some days I feel hints.
Today was my birthday. I am 29. More on that later. It is late and this old lady is ready for bed.
1. Read 20 new books (not including children’s books which I can easily go through 5 at a time)
- This started out really well and then my child went mobile. I've done several but probably not 10 - which means I have some catching up to do!
2. Read 10 classics (I’ve realized how many of these I own compared to how many I’ve read and it’s rather embarrassing)
- Um. Yes. I am behind.
3. Finish organizing old photographs into albums or scrapbooks
- I'm very close! Well, much closer than I was which is happy.
4. Get rid of all those shirts that I keep saying I might wear someday but never do
- Did a little bit but the full culling has yet to happen.
5. Learn to follow a sewing pattern
- Not a pattern yet, but I am learning more about my sewing machine and trying new projects.
6. Learn to walk on 5’ peg stilts
- These have not yet been completed so I have not had the opportunity yet.
7. Try 50 new recipes (this so far is going better than I thought it would, but I don’t know how that’s going to change when I have a toddler)
- Still going well, although some weeks are better than others. I am sure I have hit nearly 50 already so now it will be how many total I can do!
8. Design and create my own costume
- Done!
- I completely forgot this was here.
10. Direct Godspell
- I thought I had my chance this spring but things did not work out. We shall see what the future holds.
11. Perform in another stage show
- Technically this did happen - I played drum for a dance show out at festival. Not exactly what I meant when I made the goal.
12. Take a dance class
- Not even close yet.
13. Learn 3 swing dance aerials to do with my husband
- This sounds like fun, I should do this.
14. Simplify my life by getting rid of STUFF– I’m not sure yet what measureable to put on this to know whether or not I have succeeded
- It has begun.
15. Take walks at least 3 times a week – not sure how I’m going to do this in the winter time, maybe become a mall walker mom during the cold months?
- Walking more than nothing but less than I would like.
16. Set up a will/custody documents for J should anything happen to me and the hubby
- This would be a nice thing to have.
17. Spend time at least once a week with a friend
- Yup.
18. Maintain an active prayer journal
- Completely forgot this was here. I should do this.
19. Lead a Bible study
- Not yet.
20. Read through the Bible completely (haven’t done this since Bible college and it needs to happen again)
- Did part of this with my husband, need to keep working on it on my own.
21. Buy a house (yeah, I’m not totally optimistic about this one, but I can try)
- Working on it.
22. Memorize 30 Bible verses
- If I keep up with the Bible Study memory plan at church this will be done.
23. Memorize 3 sonnets
- Nope.
24. Get to know the ladies at my church better (ie: be more sociable)
- Working on it.
25. Clean out the garage enough to consider getting a deep freeze
- My husband is amazing with the work he has put into our garage but the lead we had on a deep freeze has dried up. We will keep looking.
26. Consistently maintain an active blog
- Not as consistent as I would like.
27. Stick with cloth diapering
- Not a problem. We use disposables occasionally but for the most part the cloth diapers are working out wonderfully.
28. Teach a sign language class
- Oh, this sounds like fun! Have I done it yet? Not in a loooong time...
29. Travel to a state I’ve never been
- Well I went to CA...technically I have been there before but I was just a toddler and I didn't remember it - does that count?
30. Feel organized – if only briefly
- Not really, but some days I feel hints.
Today was my birthday. I am 29. More on that later. It is late and this old lady is ready for bed.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Cheesy goodness?
Growing up, my mom made the BEST scalloped potatoes: cheesy, soft potatoes accompanied by ham and, later, broccoli. I could never understand why she added the broccoli - I felt it interrupted the basic purity of the dish.
(Now that I am a functioning adult with a husband and child to cook for I understand the need to get veggies in whenever and wherever possible. I don't always succeed, but I understand why they are important.)
Last night I made...a dish. I hate to call it scalloped potatoes but that is what the recipe I used called it. Um. Well. Instead of making up a cheese sauce and pouring it over the potatoes this recipe told me to layer the potatoes, cheese, cream (milk) and butter. I figured they would meld in the oven and become something similar to the creamy goodness I knew as a child.
(Minus the broccoli because Dear Hubby won't go near the stuff.)
When the dish came out of the oven (after having been left there an extra 25 minutes because the potatoes were still raw) my hopes of creamy childhood goodness were dashed.
Nothing had melded. Everything was still separate. The cheese was mostly melted but it refused to adhere to the potatoes. The milk was still...wet. I thought it would absorb or evaporate or something!
Distress.
Next time I try scalloped potatoes I will look for a recipe that makes the cheese sauce up ahead of time.
Come to think of it, perhaps I'll just ask my mom.
(Now that I am a functioning adult with a husband and child to cook for I understand the need to get veggies in whenever and wherever possible. I don't always succeed, but I understand why they are important.)
Last night I made...a dish. I hate to call it scalloped potatoes but that is what the recipe I used called it. Um. Well. Instead of making up a cheese sauce and pouring it over the potatoes this recipe told me to layer the potatoes, cheese, cream (milk) and butter. I figured they would meld in the oven and become something similar to the creamy goodness I knew as a child.
(Minus the broccoli because Dear Hubby won't go near the stuff.)
When the dish came out of the oven (after having been left there an extra 25 minutes because the potatoes were still raw) my hopes of creamy childhood goodness were dashed.
Nothing had melded. Everything was still separate. The cheese was mostly melted but it refused to adhere to the potatoes. The milk was still...wet. I thought it would absorb or evaporate or something!
Distress.
Next time I try scalloped potatoes I will look for a recipe that makes the cheese sauce up ahead of time.
Come to think of it, perhaps I'll just ask my mom.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Family, food, fun, trauma
Let's start with Friday: J spent his first night away from Mom and Dad with his Aunt Abby. Apparently it went exceedingly well because she offered to have him over on a regular basis. I could get used to a night alone with my hubby once in a while...
So The Man and I went out and stayed up late and slept in till 8:30 on Saturday morning (yes, with a toddler this is sleeping in for us). I was just waking up when my dad called. Hubby and I got dressed and met him for breakfast in a little diner where we were the youngest people in the room. Then it was over to my dad's house so Hubby could help him with the car and I went clothes shopping with my mom and sister. Hubby and I did grocery shopping and headed over to Aunt Abby's for lunch and to meet back up with My Boy.
All this and it was only 1pm.
Home again, home again - Hubby worked on organizing the garage while the boy napped and I puttered around. The garage looks FABULOUS. I am so proud of all the work My Man did in there!
We were supposed to go see a show that night but I had such a terrible headache my dad convinced me it would be a bad idea and fed me chips and cheese and a margarita instead. It actually helped a lot and I was able to go to bed Sat night without my brain pounding out my ears.
Sunday morning we had our usual couple of people for breakfast and just as we were about to leave My Son pushed up against the screen door as is his wont. Except this time it hadn't gotten latched and he pushed straight through and went down a step face first onto the concrete. We were late to church. He looks like he got into a fight but he is alright and probably won't scar from the episode. I was very concerned at first because he scraped up around his eye but the eye itself was fine which was a relief.
So then after all that my family (mom, dad, 3 sisters, 1 brother-in-law, 2 nieces and 1 friend) joined us in our little house for lunch. It was wonderful and loud and I loved it and I loved when they all went home and we sat in the quiet and watched Doctor Who while J slept. Then we got to see more people for supper and friends joined us after for games and my sister stayed late and talked and I went to bed happy and exhausted.
I love my family.
I love my church.
I love my friends.
I love food.
I love how our bodies are designed to heal after trauma.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Perfect weekend
This past weekend was superlative. Exemplary. Perfect.
It was our first weekend without festival commitments and we got to spend just about the entire time together as a family.
Saturday morning we went to the pumpkin patch with my sister and her family. My nieces are the most adorable little girls I know and they love hanging out with their cousin J. My sister is one of the most active pregnant ladies you could meet. She is due in less than 2 weeks!!
J adopted a pumpkin. He flopped on in and hugged it and stood up then bent down and cuddled it again. Then he tried to pick it up. So we took it home. I think I will call it Jasper. Or Corinth.
Saturday afternoon J slept off the morning's excitement while Shelbs and I worked on decluttering the garage (a long term project but Shelbs got so much done and I was so proud of him!), cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. It felt good to be productive and it was lovely to be productive alongside my husband.
Saturday night Shelbs took me out to the ballet (thanks to my good friend who agreed to babysit at the last minute!). It was a beautiful time for just the two of us.
The next morning we started our Sunday breakfasts again. This first time back we spent with a sister who has become a friend and a friend who has become a sister. I love starting Sundays with this fellowship with people I love!
Then church for the first time in almost 2 months!
We got to have lunch after with my parents, friend and another sister, and then relaxed for a nice chunk of the afternoon before getting things ready for my sister and her family to join us for dinner. We had a wonderful time (and yummy soup) with this family who is so important to me (and I got to see them 2 days in a row!!).
Then Shelbs and I played a video game together and hung out before bed.
It was more than lovely.
It was perfect.
It was our first weekend without festival commitments and we got to spend just about the entire time together as a family.
Saturday morning we went to the pumpkin patch with my sister and her family. My nieces are the most adorable little girls I know and they love hanging out with their cousin J. My sister is one of the most active pregnant ladies you could meet. She is due in less than 2 weeks!!
J adopted a pumpkin. He flopped on in and hugged it and stood up then bent down and cuddled it again. Then he tried to pick it up. So we took it home. I think I will call it Jasper. Or Corinth.
Saturday afternoon J slept off the morning's excitement while Shelbs and I worked on decluttering the garage (a long term project but Shelbs got so much done and I was so proud of him!), cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. It felt good to be productive and it was lovely to be productive alongside my husband.
Saturday night Shelbs took me out to the ballet (thanks to my good friend who agreed to babysit at the last minute!). It was a beautiful time for just the two of us.
The next morning we started our Sunday breakfasts again. This first time back we spent with a sister who has become a friend and a friend who has become a sister. I love starting Sundays with this fellowship with people I love!
Then church for the first time in almost 2 months!
We got to have lunch after with my parents, friend and another sister, and then relaxed for a nice chunk of the afternoon before getting things ready for my sister and her family to join us for dinner. We had a wonderful time (and yummy soup) with this family who is so important to me (and I got to see them 2 days in a row!!).
Then Shelbs and I played a video game together and hung out before bed.
It was more than lovely.
It was perfect.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
The Times They Are a Changing
In just a few more days my weekends will go from this:
To lots more of this:
And this:
And some of this:
It's not that I don't love performing - I do. In fact, the little boy who came up to me after a show last night to get his picture taken with me, who told me I was his favorite dancer, he is the reason I love performing. It is fun to make people happy, to see someone smile because of something you did.
But these festival days take me away from spending time with my boys.
My house is a mess.
I want to go apple picking.
I want to lounge around in my pjs on Saturday mornings like normal people ;)
Which is why I am glad the festival season is just that - a season. For the past month and a half I have been waking up by 5:45am every Sat and Sun (and Labor Day and Columbus Day) to spend the full day outside, rain or shine, hot or cold, and entertain people. It has been fun and stressful and exhausting and a wonderful learning experience.
And it is almost over.
I get to go back to church.
We can start having people over again.
I. Am. Excited.
Also tired.
Which reminds me, I should go do dishes.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Quiet Book
My niece's birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and I finished her quiet book in time for the party! :D
This was very exciting for me, so I'm going to show off pictures of how it turned out. For some odd reason the first picture insists on being vertical, so I apologize about that.
I used some leftover yellow fleece for the cover. Perhaps not the most hardy of fabrics, but it was a bright, pretty color that I liked, I already had it, and it didn't need any sort of hemming. I found a children's belt at the thrift store and wrapped it around as fastener. It is sewn in at the spine. The inside pages are about 8"x8" so the outside might be about 9"x9".
The first pages are the "fabric doll" (think paper doll) pages. I dearly love how the wardrobe turned out.
Using felt for the doll and the clothes meant (again) no hemming, but also felt sticks to itself enough that I didn't feel the need to add velcro to them. I used fabric paint to add details.
Next we have the clock with pipe cleaner hands. My niece is 2 so this wasn't the most exciting page ever but I'm hoping her mom will be able to use it with her later on to practice telling time.
I LOVE the finger puppets I found for Noah's Ark. They go in the zippered boat and can "swim" in the water pocket. I bought a package of 10 for about $3 on Ebay and will be using the other 5 for my son's book.
Pizza!
The pocket contains felt toppings and the slices are velcroed to the book so they can be removed to be "served".
Not the most exciting pages. I was trying to be educational. Um.
The pocket contains numbered squares to match with the ones on the pages. Maybe a little later on she will be more interested. Or not, time will tell.
LOVE how the crown turned out!
The jewels have velcro on the back which sticks really well to the felt.
The last page is simply a pocket with a $1 photo album stuck inside. I wrote a little letter for her which begins the book and then filled the rest of the pages with note cards and colored paper so she can either make her own book or mommy can put pictures in for her later.
I finished an awesome craft project! :D I'm so very excited about this, but it would not have been completed without the aid of my hubby and my friend Stacey who were both wonderfully supportive and helpful when I was trying to get it finished at the last possible moment. Thanks to you both!
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